Once Upon a Wish…

Mother’s Day…the holiday I dreamed about long before I got to celebrate it. After getting married,  I wanted to have kids. I also knew that I would have trouble conceiving.  My doctor made it seem that although I would have issues, some pills would help me along and I shouldn’t worry too much about it.

Until I had to. 

Because the pills did not work just like that. 

Today, on Mother’s Day, I decided to clean out some drawers. Let’s not question why right now. People do strange things in quarantine times on Mother’s Day. Anyway, I came across a paper from the fertility center we went to. Every now and then I find one. There were so many instructions and information during that time. Sometimes, I wonder why I hold onto them. This particular one was spelling out the details for one shot. The shot that would mean baby or no baby.

And just like that, I felt like I was back in the infertility world clinging on to what I always thought was the last bit of hope I had left in me. 

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate all the moms and women in our life that mean so much. I can drink some mimosas and have a special dinner but I struggle with truly celebrating.

Because I left a lot of people behind in that world. I also learn every week about new friends that are going through their journeys to become moms. Days can turn into months and months into years.

The infertility world comes with so many emotions that you often feel like a ship in the worst possible storm. 

I think about those people all the time but especially on this day where the idea of being a mother is everywhere. 

My hope for anyone reading this is while you are that ship in the storm, you look for that rainbow wherever it might be. Hold tight to your dreams. Let friends and family comfort you through all the highs and lows.

Today on Mother’s Day know that whatever you are doing to make it happen means there is love; so much love. 

Don’t forget to celebrate the mother you already are. 

Hold tight to your wishes. I hope they come true.

Thank you for reading my latest post. I hope it brought some comfort if you need it. 

 

The Magic of Christmas Cheer

The days have not been easy. Darkness came too early and quickly with the time change. We struggled to look for the happy in lives that had become quite chaotic. 

Then December came and with that we had the countdown we needed, to a little bit of magic that always comes our way this time of year. 

It’s something created through the hearts and happiness of a group of smiling faces that work so hard to bring us that Christmas cheer through the joy of singing. 

All week, we would smile at each other and say not much longer! We will sing and laugh as we get together in the usual place that Sunday night. Before we knew it, the big moment arrived. 

In we walked. By now, we knew many and many knew us. Hugs were given and we looked this way and that to check out the now very familiar faces. Catching up and having a bit of cheer, we became silent as they all took the stage.

A tune that we all know so well began to play…

And our merry little Christmas officially started. 

For years, my friend and some of her friends get together to practice, then put on a Christmas show of singing songs. The selection ranges from classics to others that have a deep musical history. crowd is always invited to join in or at least I think we are as we can’t help but sing the chorus to, “O Come, All Ye Faithful or “Silent Night”. Thankfully, most of us left the songs with the wide vocal ranges to the professionals.

This is a group who as talented as they always have been, only grow stronger every year. 

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No matter which way you turn your head, there is so much uncertainty around but there is also the good. It’s the good that brings people together like this. You take something that everyone can relate to and want to be a part of and it all comes together.  Add some lights and some very festive clothing ( I am looking at you, Perry!) and we have December magic!

Each year we attend, we think of the show as a gift. Cindy who has been the magician of this if you will; always talks to the audience about how the performance this year came about and what meaning it brings for us this time. The audience listens and make the connections as if she is speaking with each of us personally. We take it all in.

Deep breaths are let out as if a weight has been lifted. 

The instruments are picked up again and the notes travel across the room.

The voices come back together in a harmony that fills our hearts and will continue to do so long after we leave.

Like magic. 

Until Next year, friends.

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Thank you so much to my incredible friend, Tracie and the merry little Christmas Choir!

We always love your songs and cheer!